Sometimes you just gotta wait for that switch to flick and you realise someone ain’t worth the hassle. One of the most important quotes I’ve ever seen in my life was on Tumblr, which yeah is normally full of fitness blogs and food porn tips, but this time it really hit me.
“Why give someone of so little importance so much control over your happiness?”
And I thought shit yeah oh my gosh. I’ve been waiting for this guy to want me and make me feel important but why am I giving him so much power?? I am my own being and I need to appreciate myself more. How can I expect other people to appreciate me if I can’t even appreciate myself? And this, guys and girls, is the switch that you may or may not notice that is being flicked. And amazingly when this switch goes I feel powerful and I feel like I’m in control again. When you’ve had a few days of not really being sure about yourself and questioning everything you’ve done in the past few weeks, this feeling is awesome. I don’t want to dwell on this too much for now coz I may not feel like this in the morning but what I do need to remember is that this is how I felt tonight and now that I’ve made my mind up I know the direction I should head in. This has happened before: if I got out of it then, I can get out of it this time.
Maybe this hasn’t been about a guy, and maybe more about my ongoing struggle with depression and anxiety that people don’t often seem to notice. But I’ve gotten it off my chest whatever it was and I feel better for it.