‘I miss you’…… BOOM!

‘I miss you’…… BOOM!

cartoon-eagle-clip-art-free-1626793We all know dating is a war! A hot and yet cold endless war of which we all hope to retire from one day so we can hide the scars and bruises and be remembered for the battles we fought by those who fought alongside us. And wear the medals of honour we receive for our final achievement.

You might think the ‘L’ bombs are the hardest to dodge in this war but you got to agree that the ‘M’ ones are equally as bad. Call me an idiot when I say that I’m starting to think that in this day and age if someone says ‘I love you’, you can get away with not saying it back as long as you don’t act weird about it. I’d like to think that the modern lovers understand that it just means that you are not in the same place emotionally or that one of you will never be. But ‘I miss you’….

Again I can only speak for myself but I know I’m not the only one who feels uncomfortable hearing it.
It’s like catching a jacket potato with bare hands and left juggling it from a hand to another because the only other option is to throw it back to wherever it came from.

My problem with such expression is the struggle to understand its meaning! Not that I never missed someone or something before but there were reasons behind it. Now, when I am texting the girl I’m seeing and we been flowing back and forth for some time about a certain subject and when we hit the end of the conversation I get a casual, plain and out of place ‘I miss you’ and BOOOOOOOM!!!!
I Miss YouI turn momentarily deaf such is he loud sound of the bomb exploding next to me. I get genuinely confused!

I have been through a lot trying to find solution! In the process, I have been called insensitive and accused of not caring despite the amount of time and effort I put on dining out and romantic evenings.

At first I used to ignore it and carry on the previous conversation hoping she wouldn’t notice but there’s no escape through that route because what was said once can always be repeated. Actually, it’s worth pointing out how often the phenomenon keeps re occurring when one tries to ignore it.

I often consider changing the topic but let’s face it! Unless you are dating a lamp, a doll or a car (not being funny! Remember watching ‘My Strange Addiction’) no one is dumb enough to ‘miss the switch’.

However nothing beats the trickier thought of saying it back. I do it thinking ‘there, I said it, let’s move on’ but all that seems to do is spark further unwanted conversation like ‘what do you miss about me’ or ‘are you just saying it’ or ‘aww why didn’t you say it before’. I’m running out of options and I can feel my enemies closing in. Even what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger ……. nahhhhhhhh I don’t think that applies, I’m running for my life!

For now as soon as I hear/read such meteoric words I laugh and highlight the number of weeks, days and/or hours until we get to see each other.
Do I hope to retire from this war? Certainly! Would I do it now? Unlikely! So till then I guess I better study the opposition and figure a strategy for my next battle!


Have your friends changed or have you?

Have your friends changed or have you?

Are you finding it hard to hang out, hold a conversation or even just understand your friends way of thinking.

When I decided to go to Uni many of my friends questioned my reasoning – to help me get a better job. This didn’t surprise me, given that most of them were already working at the time and allegedly happy.  What did surprise me however (and still does) was the lack of ambition and how ready they were to settle for the first job they got without even considering if there were chances of progression. Although I always put that down to the fact that I was always more mature than most of them and because let’s face it, not many 18 years old have their lives planned out.

Picture from: http://www.grammarly.com/blog/2014/two-heads-are-better-than-one-famous-writing-friendships/

Things weren’t has bad during my first year at Uni because they would occasionally come and visit or we would meet up and party when I went back home. My hope was that seeing this would change their mind about going to uni. I went through 4 years of meeting new people every day, people from all over the globe, dated girls from countries I had to pretend I knew about to seem cultured. But every time I visited my friends I felt like life had paused and the world had stopped turning in that particular town. They were still going to the same places without making an effort to go anywhere else. They were still complaining about the same issues without ever suggesting an improvement or alternative.

Now that I finished my degree things haven’t gotten much better (not that I was expecting them to) but I was hoping we could at least hang out. It’s obviously not that easy when I have moved to a different country but even when I go back it’s hard for us to even see each other. Often it’s because they are working or otherwise occupied but sometimes I turn them down because I dread the idea of sitting in their living room with their partners and/or children talking about things that no longer interest me or discuss the lives of those I haven’t seen in years. When I mention or drop the slightest hint that we should head out for drinks or hit a club or simply meet elsewhere they are quick to point out how cold it is (as if we were expecting 28⁰C mid- December in England) or how the place I suggested isn’t good and that everything else other than sitting in the house is a waste of time.

I understand everyone being busy/tired with work and such but surely you want to enjoy at least the weekends – I mean I work 40 hours a week and every single Friday I feel like a 7 year old after school, absolutely BUZZZINN’. I refuse to accept that young people in their mid-twenties choose to live mildly interesting monotonous lives and blame it on becoming adults.

I apologize knowing I sound like an inconsiderate jerk but I am actually a good person hence why I had so many friends to begin with.

I never realised how different we were. I don’t think I’m better than any of them. But I chase my objectives and try to improve my life and myself and look to experience new things. I question their life decisions and lack of ambition. But sometimes I cannot help  but wonder if I am the one who is wrong. I keep saying I matured, but when I compare my life to that of my friends I wonder if I have actually done so.

I never hid my fear of life or becoming an adult. But I have accepted it will happen either way. So I decided to enjoy the youth and make the most of each stage. My friends (which I no longer consider my friends but simply group of people I grew up with) are all living their lives like 50 year olds. Yet I am the one moaning and complaining. If my life requires constant tinkering and perfecting than that of my friends doesn’t that mean they’re living the perfect life and I am the unhappy one chasing an illusion? (this isn’t a rhetorical question, I would actually love comments and possible answers to this question)

—– Coffee —-

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